Mental Health and Science - This Breathe & Eat Chocolate article was inspired by the book I am currently reading called, The Second Mountain by author David Brooks. To summarize, it’s an important book for anyone who has or is currently experiencing pain and on a journey of finding inner peace.
Full disclosure, it’s not putting your head down, running through a brick wall and just working harder. It’s more complicated than that.
The journey is about having an awareness of individualism to excessive levels. Many of us find ourselves early in our life hyper focused on the first mountain. The first mountain includes a heavy focus on career and pleasures. I am super guilty of this first mountain climb. And many of us, after falling into the valley, a place where we can reflect and recover from painful life circumstances. It is here where we change dramatically, come to a conclusion that we don’t want to be focused only on our own individualistic, self-centered goals.
Leaning Into the Pain
The pain we find in life can re-align our focus and what we value. Leaning into the pain, sometimes it’s health related, other times it’s relationship pain or it could include a career path filled with pain. For many of us, this disappointment and pain will lead us into other directions, leading us through the valley and to the second mountain.
Another favorite author is Henry David Thoreau, we wrote an article earlier about Thoreau (find it here), who says:
“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.”
That is the value in disappointment. Disappointment gives us clarity on what we value and who values us. If we take the time in the valley to lean into our pain, as author Brooks says:
“It’s at this deep level that you sense a different life, one your ego cannot fathom.”
Unfortunately, in our youth, our emotions drive us and we in turn, over value ourselves. But being young and dumb and letting our emotions drive us can lead to great disappointment. We need to stop at times, pause and ask ourselves: where are our roots growing? Is it an ego thing, is it sustainable and what is our end-game? I try to ask myself these questions when my curiosity leads to a passion of mine and I find myself hyperfocused on a certain task or goal that will take up a lot of my time.
The Commitment Piece of the Puzzle
Another part of the puzzle or part of the solution when you are in the valley, living with disappointment and pain, is thinking about yourself less and thinking more about others.
In short, making a commitment to others in your circle or in your community. Choose inner joy over short-term happiness by giving your time to others, listening to others over your own self-interests.
Author Brooks explains the contrast, time living on the first mountain is living a life focused on ourselves, our career, our individual goals and aspirations. But to find a more meaningful life, we have to focus more on others, our relationships, our faith and in our community by making meaningful commitments.
Brooks continues saying that commitment gives us our identity, gives us a sense of purpose, allows us to move to a higher level of freedom and helps us build our moral character.
By giving to others and making room to live a committed life, we eventually find ourselves on the second mountain radiating more peace and more joy.
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